All black in Dublin but all good in Dubai’s Turmeric Open

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Martin Moodie
Martin Moodie is the Founder & Chairman of The Moodie Report.
Martin Moodie

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My Moodie Davitt Report Interim Bureau at the excellent Dubai Duty Free-controlled Jumeirah Creekside Hotel offers a dazzlingly bright view of the Creek that runs through Dubai. But my mental perspective is rather blacker. In fact, all black.

When I turned on my phone upon arrival at Dubai International this morning, my phone wasn’t so much flooded with texts as washed away with them. Curiously enough they were all from Irishmen. I know the Irish founded the duty free industry but I didn’t realise they a) still populated it in such quantity and b) all had my phone number. I’m sure they’ve been sharing it on a WhatsApp group.

To a man and woman they were all referring to yesterday’s epic Irish rugby victory over the All Blacks by 16 points to 9 in Dublin. Due to the late kick-off I was forced to watch the match at Heathrow Airport, from the comfort of a bar stool at the Oriel Grande Brasserie. I’m not sure that I endeared myself to either bar staff or fellow guests due to my ongoing commentary that got louder as the Irish points tally went up and the Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc went down. Neither did anything to help the result.

Those Irish sure are canny though. Note how they carefully matched the colour of their jumpers to that of the grass so we couldn’t even see them. No wonder we missed so many tackles.

No need to open any of that Champagne, I guess.

I’ll be meeting a few of my textual taunters this week at the Dubai Duty Free Golf World Cup, of course, which promises to be all about the greens in more ways than one. I’ll be there, though the chances of a Kiwi victory are as remote as a Florida election-style recount of yesterday’s match making the All Blacks the victors. The signs might just be pointing to another Irish triumph. My Galway-based business partner Dermot Davitt couldn’t win it again. Could he? Now, that could prompt a major inter-company crisis.

I might need that magnum of Cloudy Bay to drown my sorrows. Maybe they should produce a line extension at Dublin Airport for home-bound Kiwis, called Black Cloudy Day?

With the honour of my country at stake, I’ve decided to get in some early practice. The rug in my hotel room is perfect for fine-tuning my putting skills. I’ve had to be a bit creative in adapting to local conditions with a plastic bottle of turmeric capsules doubling as the hole. But it’s working. I’m putting like a dream in my own Turmeric Open and I look certain to win. Even better, there’s not a single Irishman on the leaderboard.


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