Moody Blooms for the Moodie team

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We get to see a lot of different products at Moodie HQ, and we try our very best not to have favourites. But for obvious reasons, MAC’s latest launch, Moody Blooms, is sorely testing our resolve to remain impartial.

Les Fleurs du Mal, MAC-style

And it’s not just the name. MAC is showcasing its sinister side with this new line. The Moody Blooms collection channels nature’s nihilistic qualities, with glowing shades of “venomous violets, intoxicating ivy and poisonous nightshade”. If ever a palette more aptly described the appearance of Team Moodie after a) the Cannes print deadline b) any FAB/Trinity event or c) the annual Christmas party, I’ve yet to encounter it.

The press release descriptions are darkly evocative: eyes are “shrouded in earthy metallics” and “intensified by blackened green and plum [liner]”. The green and violet hues of the advertising visual are the epitome of Triffid chic (arguably the only plant this writer could keep alive. Though probably not vice versa, alas).

But it is the shade names that truly stand out. I have whiled away a happy half-hour matching individual products to specific team members. Obviously, the Powder Blush Bred for Beauty is me (when viewed through narrowed eyes, at twilight, when strong drink has been taken). The rest of the time I’m Blooming Mad (eye shadow).

Deep Fixation (another eye shadow) I allocate to our peerless sub-editor Jon Elphick, in deference to his insistence on grammatical correctness. Artistic License (eye shadow again) is doubtless the shade he’d give to all of us…

Worldly Wealth (another shade of blush) I dedicate, of course, to payroll. Simply Wow (Sheen Supreme Lipglass Tint) goes to Dermot Davitt because, to paraphrase Allison Pearson, after nearly 18 years, I Still Don’t Know How He Does It (let alone with a smile on his face). The collection’s eponymous Moody Bloom shade (Sheen Supreme Lipstick) can only belong to our signature Moodie, the one and only Mr Martin.

Which leaves Lust Extract, Pheromonal and Hidden Motive. Yes, I saved the best til last. But some things a gentleMann never tells.

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