No bi-lateral agreement between nations as Sri Lankans have Kiwis stumped

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Martin Moodie
Martin Moodie is the Founder & Chairman of The Moodie Report.


The Moodie Report, though created by a proud Kiwi, has long enjoyed a special affinity with Sri Lanka.

Two of our key present and past team members – web programming guru Dilantha Fernando (above left) and long-time ace reporter Soharni Tennekoon (right) – hail from the ‘pearl of the Indian Ocean’. Well-known industry executive and APTRA President Rakhita Jayawardena (centre) is another Sri Lankan friend of the company.

But events of the past 24 hours have put a real strain on the relationship between the two nations – and individuals from the respective camps.

It has long been written in the stars (apart from those shining over Colombo) that 2007 is the year of World Cup glory for New Zealand. Whether that is rugby or cricket – or both – depends on the hand-writing, but yesterday saw a major dent in the great antipodean nation’s seemingly remorseless march towards the final.

Yes, you guessed it, the Kiwis were undone [smashed, to be fair, not that there’s anything fair about it – Ed] by none other than Sri Lanka.

“I read it in the teacups,” boasted APTRA President Jayawardena during a sympathy call to The Moodie Report Publisher. “Looks like you have a bi-lateral World Cup security crisis down under. You didn’t make allowances for Sri Lanka.”

A look down the Sri Lankan’s teamsheet reveals the cause not only of the defeat but of the growing crisis between the two nationalities at The Moodie Report.

Captain’s name? Jayawardene.

Top bowler’s name? Fernando.

And, cruellest blow of all, coach’s name… Moody (below).

We’re sure there’s a Tennekoon hiding in the squad somewhere too… 


Like all Kiwis The Moodie Report Publisher knows how to lose with grace and the initial sackings of his Sri Lankan staff members have now been replaced by written warnings. Even more graciously, the staff members concerned have been guaranteed a pay rise if they can ensure their team beats that much more sinister force of darknes… Australia (the original old LAGs).

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  • Hey Tootie

    Your name sounds like a certain Indian retailer in this industry. If it is, then how far did India go in the World Cup? Didn’t they end up playing in the saucer instead? Who was it that beat you again? Sri Lanka and… ah that’s right, Bangladesh. But you did beat Bermuda I suppose.

    Never mind Tootee, if you are that Indian duty free retailer you can always sell off those unwanted Tendulkar shirts in your Changi fashion shop….

  • “… Like all Kiwis I know how to lose with grace … ” so you should, you Kiwis have had plenty of practise at it! and then to top it off, this outrageus statement… “Even more graciously, staff members guaranteed a pay rise if their team beats Australia” What a con-job Mr Moody, there was absolutely no chance of that happening, and you knew it. Why dont you offer to double their wages if your beloved Black-Caps manage to beat Australia tonight (20th April),… ’cause you know full well that that’ll never happen either.
    My prediction for the Final is Australia v Sri Lanka. Care to wager anything on that result.