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When I think back
On all the stuff I bought in duty free
It’s a wonder
I can still spend at all
And though my lack of restraint
May have cost me some
It sure beats shopping in the mall
Toblerone
They give us those nice bright colours
All the red and cream of dancers
Makes you think all the world’s a sunny day
I got a Moodie Davitt camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don’t take my Toblerone away
– Toblerone (with apologies to Paul Simon and Kodachrome)
I don’t usually read UK tabloid The Sun for reasons of both distaste and principle (like many I have not forgiven them for their appalling coverage of the 1989 Hillsborough football disaster in which 97 Liverpool supporters were crushed to death and hundreds injured).
However, a Google alert today from that very title did grab my attention – and no doubt that of Mondelez Travel Retail.
‘Flight attendant reveals why you should always buy a Toblerone at duty free before boarding’ screamed the headline.
In fact, the story came from (and to be fair was attributed to) fellow UK media Express, which interviewed Flight Attendant Miguel Muñoz, who said he loves it when passengers bring Toblerone or Cadbury Dairy Milk Buttons onboard.
“I am automatically nicer to the person who had that nice gesture. The cabin chief would always offer them free coffee and tea and if there are better seats available, we will move them!”
Wait… they will actually move the seats? Wow, this Toblerone sure is powerful stuff.
The Express quoted fellow Flight Attendant @cierra_mistt sharing some secrets on TikTok about the best way to get a seat upgrade. “The miracles we can work when we are given some Starbucks or a pack of chocolate. Especially on those long days when we have back-to-back flights and we don’t even have time to go get some food.”
So there you have it. Given the vast collective readership that The Sun and Express command in the UK, expect to see hordes of British passengers clambering onboard not just with their usual duty free swags but with an extra 360 Toblerone bar or – perhaps better – a Tiny Toblerone Bag Assortment or Cadbury Nibbly Fingers pouch for sharing among the crew.
In fact I can see a great promotional opportunity. Surely the situation calls out for a ‘Buy 1 Get 1 (for your crew member) Free’ offer? Think of the category momentum this could create. Brands could roll out not only travel exclusives but cabin crew exclusives. Destination theming? Heck, yes. This concept has got the lot.
Personalisation potential abounds too. ‘To my favourite cabin crew member’ (though that might require a bigger bar). ‘To the perfect Purser.’ I can see it now. Jaya Singh (Mondelez International Travel Retail) this one’s for you.
So here’s a way to save your company expense on that next long-haul flight and support the travel retail industry’s recovery. Simply fly economy and buy loads of chocolate at duty free before you board. Me? I’m opting for a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label instead. I’ll get to sit next to the pilot.
If you took all the chocs I ate
When I was single
And stacked them all together for one night
I know they’d never match
The sweet triangle
Of the Toblerone, so great to bite
Toblerone
They give us those nice bright colours
All the red and cream of dancers
Makes you think all the world’s a sunny day
I got a Moodie Davitt camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don’t take my Toblerone away